Thursday, April 05, 2007

On a personal note...

As writer's we are often thought to be sensitive to the world around us. To ourselves. Taking our experiences and mirroring them on paper. Using them to create works of art. Knowledge building articles to help others. Sometimes it's cathartic for us. Sometimes it brings more pain. It causes depression, it relieves depression.

Strangely enough, we're often introverts. We keep our pain to ourselves (meaning we don't publicize...we use it in our writing instead). We keep our lives to ourselves. We're the "shy" of the artists. We like having our work noticed, our abilities recognized, but we can be innately shy. Granted, this is a broad generalization, but it's also viewed as true by outsiders. It's very true for me.

Very recently I've gone through one personal turmoil after another. To look at the laundry list of events it would seem impossible to many to even be factual. Health, marriage and financial crises abounded, and continue to flaunt themselves in front of me.

I've always heard to take your experiences and use them for your art. I stare at the past few months and I still can't imagine how. I've only written about 3000 words in 4 months time. I have a novel that's already laid out before me and yet I can't seem to write. I certainly haven't written anything new based on anything that's happened.

So I'm giving it time. Perhaps I'll find a humor piece in it all when things are calmed down. I'm sure that there are several great non-fic pieces in there considering all the health woes. But for now I'm too deep into it. While I always used to write through the pain I haven't been able to do that this time.

One day the writing will come. I'm learning to give it time. I'm also learning to deal with the hardships life can throw at you.

One thing I can assure everyone of...they say bad things come in 3's...they lied...Right now I'm on about #7 in a 5 month period. But, I also know that this is helping me appreciate the good moments more my girls 2nd and 1st bdays that are coming up in 2 weeks! A moment of celebration, a break from the craziness. Enjoy your good moments. Enjoy your children (even those of the furry variety). Enjoy your between all the crap.


Cheryl said...

I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time. I haven't been able to write either, but I can't say it's because of my life being turned upside down the way yours seems to be right now. I hope things get better for you soon.

And you are right, when you are too close to a situation, you can't always write about it. You need time to cool off, reflect a bit, think about how challenging that obstacle was, before you can even think of writing about it. Maybe you can scribble something in your journal about it while you are knee deep in the crap, but it takes time to share those things with others.

It always amazes people when I tell them I'm an introvert and that I would be totally happy hiding away in my little ole house writing my heart out instead of working somewhere away from home where I had to socialize with others. I am a gabby girl once I get going.

But, I do think for the most part, we writers internalize everything, which is why we can eventually take our experiences and write them down to share with others.

I honestly hope things improve for you soon. I miss seeing you at SC regularly and really miss the chance to read your stuff.

Take care.


Sharon said...

Sadie, I am sorry that you are experiencing so much pain in your life right now. I can identify with you. I had just gotten started writing regularly when our lives turned upside down, and it's been one thing after another for 3 years now. I haven't been able to write anything but notes in a journal every now and then in all that time.

I've just begun to write again, and it's not coming easily. As I write, my widowed 75 year old mom is suffering from a bad case of shingles on her face. I am an only child, so she depends on me. Fortunately, my husband and I are still together (37 yrs), although that gets awfully rocky sometimes, as well. My health has gone downhill from all the stress, but the point is, I have started to write again.

You are right, it makes you really appreciate the good things when they appear. Your writing will come back to you, because you love it, and you will have a lot to share when you're ready. Hoping things turn around for both of us soon. :)

Incidentally, I'm also an introvert, who is not good at socializing, internalizes everything, and prefers being off by myself writing or working with my art. Drives my mom and my husband nuts. They are both extroverts, which makes me nuts. :) Hope things smoothe out for you soon. Sharon